[bright tone]
[upbeat rock music]
♪ ♪
[cheers and applause]
- Welcome, welcome, welcome
to "Last Week Tonight."
I'm John Oliver.
Thank you so much for joining us.
And look--look, before we begin, you may remember,
last week we did a story about coal,
the reason Dick Van Dyke looked like he spent
all of "Mary Poppins" in blackface.
Well, you know what,
it turns out that one of the coal company CEOs
that we mentioned was not particularly thrilled
with how the piece turned out.
- Comedian John Oliver is the target of a lawsuit
by one of the country's largest privately owned coal companies.
Oliver strongly criticized Murray Energy Corporation
and CEO Robert Murray Sunday on his HBO show
"Last Night Week-- Last Week Tonight."
- It's true.
We here at the show "Last Night Week Last Week Tonight"
are currently being sued by Bob Murray,
CEO of Murray Energy.
And look, I desperately want to talk to you about this tonight.
But our lawyers have suggested that the courts
be the venue where we work this out, and I do get that.
But I promise we will tell you all about this
as soon as it is over.
And of course, of course, Mr. Nutterbutter
will get a chance to tell his side of the story, too.
Of course. Of course he will.
But for now--
for now, tonight, let's move on to President Trump,
two words that clearly don't belong together,
but that we're all somehow
getting used to hearing out loud,
like "Instagram celebrity"
or "Ansel Elgort."
Now, you may remember back in May,
Trump suggested on Twitter
that he may have tapes of his conversations
with deposed FBI Director
and Slender Man alter ego James Comey.
Well, on Thursday, Trump finally admitted
that he had no such tapes
and offered up this rationale for his claim.
- Well, I didn't tape him.
You never know what's happening when you see
that the Obama administration, and perhaps longer than that,
was doing all of this unmasking and surveillance
that you read all about it.
And I've been reading about it for the last couple of months,
about the seriousness of the-- and horrible situation
with surveillance all over the place,
and you've been hearing the word "unmasking,"
a word you probably never heard before.
So you never know what's out there, but I didn't tape,
and I don't have any tape, and I didn't tape.
[laughter]
- What the fuck was that?
Whenever Trump talks, it's like a cross between
a lottery machine that spits out words
and a Speak & Spell that just fell into a toilet.
But--but he wasn't done,
because Trump had not yet explained
the strategic brilliance of how his tweet
influenced James Comey.
And just wait for the reporter's follow-up at the end.
- When he found out that, uh, I, you know,
that there may be tapes out there,
whether it's governmental tapes or anything else and who knows,
I think his story may have changed.
I mean, you'll have to take a look at that,
because then he has to tell what actually took place
at the events, and my story didn't change.
My story was always a straight story.
My story was always the truth, but you'll have to determine
for yourself whether or not his story changed.
But I did not tape.
- It was a smart way to make sure he stayed honest
in those hearings.
- Well, uh, it wasn't, uh...
it wasn't very stupid, I can tell you that.
[laughter]
- Wow.
"It wasn't very stupid."
Let's break down what just happened there.
First, world-class reporting, Fox News.
You--you really held his feet to the fire there.
Second, he seemed justifiably taken off-guard
by that compliment.
And third, think about what he just said.
He didn't just casually admit to misleading the American public.
He also implied that doing so
may have swayed Comey's testimony,
which, if that was his intent,
could constitute witness tampering.
And on top of all that, he then implied he made Comey
tell the truth about their conversations,
seemingly verifying Comey's account,
which is incredibly damaging to the president.
So, yeah, Trump might actually be right.
It wasn't "very stupid."
It was extraordinarily stupid.
But all this-- all this served to distract
from the really important business
going down in Washington this week
concerning the Senate's new Obamacare replacement bill,
the Better Care Reconciliation Act.
It was released on Thursday
ahead of a likely vote next week,
and was quickly denounced by many Democrats.
Barack Obama took to Facebook to say,
"It would raise costs, reduce coverage,
roll back protections, and ruin Medicaid as we know it."
And you know what, obviously Obama objects
to repealing the ACA.
His parents literally named him after Obamacare.
Of course he would say that.
So put that aside.
But meanwhile, in the Senate, Chuck Schumer engaged
in some spectacular prop comedy.
- When the White House passed their health care bill,
a bill that President Trump called "mean,"
I thought it wouldn't be possible
for the Senate Republicans to conjure up a bill
even worse than that one.
Unfortunately, that is what they have done.
Here you go.
[camera shutters snapping, indistinct chatter]
"Meaner." Can you read it?
Do I have to color it in?
- Yeah, you do.
- How's that?
Right there. "Meaner."
[laughter]
- Oh, my God.
[cheers and applause]
Now, if political theater were actual theater,
that was the equivalent of someone falling to their death
in "Spider-Man: Turn off the Dark."
Now, as for the contents of the bill,
it is set to hurt a lot of people.
Because the BCRA preserves much
of what was objectionable in the House bill,
like tax cuts for the wealthy
and deregulation that would make it possible
for insurers to drastically cut their coverage.
And when it comes to Medicaid spending,
this new version is in some ways even harsher
than it was before.
- The House bill would end the Medicaid expansion
in three years, and give states a block grant
to fund Medicaid as they see fit.
The Senate version phases out
Medicaid expansion more slowly,
starting in 2021, but makes deeper cuts
to the overall Medicaid program by sharply
reducing federal funding over time.
- So the House bill would cut Medicaid relatively quickly,
whereas the Senate bill would do it more slowly
but far more drastically.
And both of those options are deadly.
It's basically choosing between
getting run over by a drunk driver
or getting run over by a drunk elephant.
And, you know, that poor elephant
has been going through a rough patch
since her divorce.
Oh, that's right, I said "Her."
#LadyElephantsCanCommit InvoluntaryManslaughter.
#Feminism.
And--and to be clear--
to be clear, those cuts will have massive impacts.
Right now, Medicaid covers 20% of all Americans,
49% of births,
60% of children with disabilities,
and 64% of all nursing home residents.
So unless you are a professional beach volleyball player
with a vasectomy, who is estranged from his family
and who plans to jump into a volcano at age 35,
you or someone you know
desperately needs these services.
Now, you may have heard some Republicans have come out
against this bill in its current form.
Some, because it's too harsh.
Others, because it is not harsh enough.
And of course Ted Cruz is in that group.
Of course he is.
He's the only man in history whose personality
somehow contracted bedbugs.
But--but I would-- here's the thing.
I would be very careful
relying on those politicians to hold out.
Just this morning, Rand Paul suggested he might
vote for the bill if they needed him,
and Ron Johnson said he wasn't a no,
he was just a "not yes yet."
Which isn't so much a courageous stance
as it is not a cowardly stance yet.
And that is the sort of thing
that means you should be very wary
of any coverage with this kind of tone.
- Today on "Face the Nation,"
the Republican Senate health care bill is on life support.
- Is the plan to repeal and replace Obamacare
on life support?
- A Senate plan that, as it stands, is dead on arrival.
- It would seem, as things stand right now,
the Republican version of the bill is dead on arrival.
- Oh, that's great, it's dead on arrival.
Then kick back and relax, everyone,
'cause I haven't felt this confident about an outcome
since Tuesday, November 8, 2016.
[cheers and applause]
The point is--
the point is, there is every chance that,
absent huge effort to stop it,
this bill may well pass.
So resisting complacency would be,
to borrow a truly moronic phrase,
"Not very stupid, I can tell you that."
And now this.
- Talkback callers seem to be pretty much obsessed
with the train and trolley in our backyard.
- I would just like to know whose idea it was
to put a train in the backyard.
I am trying to watch the news and hear the weather,
and it's distracting.
- I'm calling about your train.
Whoo-whoo!
Keep the train rolling, baby.
- How about making this train go the right way?
The way it's running now is the wrong way.
- Thank you all for the choo-choo train.
We don't care if it's going backwards or frontwards.
We just enjoy it.
- Well, Kurt, that stupid trolley keeps blowing over
because it's not supposed to be there.
The train is supposed to be there, not the trolley.
- Tell that guy complaining about the trolley being on,
conductor can put anything on the track
he wants to put on the track.
Shut up and go do your supper dishes.
- Question: What is going on with the train?
Why isn't it running?
It hasn't been running in weeks.
- Wah, wah, wah. The train is not running.
I wish an editor would put a quarter stick
in that train and blow it up.
- Oh, yes, we're calling again.
Your train in the backyard is not running once again.
- I am so sick of hearing about these idiots
worrying about the stupid train in the backyard already.
- I just want to say, you know, your news show is on
so many times during the day
that you ought to just take one of those half hours
and play nothing but a video
of a train running around in a circle.
Maybe that would pacify these idiots who keep calling
every time the train isn't running.
[cheers and applause]
- Moving on.
For our--for our main story tonight,
we're going to talk about vaccines.
Or, as the fun doctor at your family practice puts it,
"Shots! Shots! Shots, shots, shots, shots.
"Shots, shots, shots.
Seriously, there will be a slight pinch."
Now, vaccines are one of humanity's
most incredible accomplishments,
and they've saved millions of lives.
And there was a time when a new one
was a cause for huge celebration.
- Dr. Jonas Salk discovers a vaccine that promises
to wipe out childhood's crippling
and killing enemy, polio.
Anxious parents are thrilled and grateful,
responding to one of the greatest mass inoculations
in medical annals.
- It's true, people lined up for the polio shot
like it was an iPhone.
Although--although for the record, polio was never
"childhood's most crippling enemy."
Because that was, and will forever remain,
accidentally seeing your father's penis.
[laughter and applause]
But--but despite--
despite their success, small groups are both skeptical
and vocal about vaccines, which is nothing new,
but these days, their voice has been amplified
by the human megaphone
that is the President of the United States.
- I am totally in favor of vaccines.
But I want smaller doses over a longer period of time.
Because you take a baby in, and I've seen it,
and I had my children
taken care of over a long period of time,
over a two or three year period of time, same exact amount,
but you take this little beautiful baby, and you pump--
I mean, it looks just like it's meant for a horse,
not for a child.
- That is Donald Trump on the campaign trail,
raising doubts about vaccinations.
And that is a sentiment that he's also expressed online
with a tweet reading, "Tiny children are not horses."
And that--that is an assertion that PolitiFact rates,
"Yeah, I mean, I guess technically
we've gotta give him that, but good grief."
And look, look, you know this, you know this.
It is not wise to take health care advice
from a man who has willingly sought care
from this doctor,
who looks like he sneaks into a Senor Frogs
in the middle of the night to fuck the mozzarella sticks.
You know that.
But--but it is--it is not just Trump who is skeptical,
and those concerns have driven
some people to extremes.
For instance, back in 2011, some parents made headlines
by taking what they saw as a more natural route
to immunizing their children.
- Catherine, we're talking about parents who are taking
used lollipops, saliva, and puss-soaked clothing
from complete strangers and deliberately infecting
their children.
- Okay, okay, all right.
So, setting aside the grossness
of parents infecting their kids
with lollipops from strangers,
that graphic has an unfortunate misspelling,
because "swapping spit and passing puss"
sounds like the sex talk
that Kid Rock would give his teenage son.
"Look, bro, I know you're gonna wanna swap some spit
"and pass some puss, but if you don't throw
"a raincoat on that devil dog,
"it's gonna be scorch city for you, buckaroo.
This was quality time. We just had some quality time."
And while it is important to remember
that the vast majority of parents
are making sure that their children get vaccinated on time,
the voices of those who don't carry.
Any Internet search about vaccines will quickly lead you
down a frightening rabbit hole.
And the background hum of doubt can make some parents
understandably nervous.
- I'm concerned about how many vaccines
we have to give our children at once.
- So I'm kind of debating whether--
I will do them, but I'm debating the age.
When should I have them done?
- There's just so much information there,
and I don't-- I don't know who to ask.
I don't know if there's--
you know, there's no such thing as an unbiased source.
- At least 10% of parents delay or skip some shots.
Around 1% don't vaccinate at all.
- Right, and, you know, parents get so much information,
it is hard to know what to do.
Should you vaccinate?
Should you eat the placenta?
Should you let kids cry?
And the answer to those, by the way,
are yes, no, and absolutely.
Because the more they cry now, the more they'll be prepared
to watch "This Is Us" when they get older.
[laughter]
And this--this atmosphere of confusion about vaccines
has caused real problems.
There are now 11 states where the number
of unvaccinated kids is on the rise.
And in small pockets all over America,
the numbers can get startlingly high.
In the Somali community in Minnesota,
the measles vaccination rate for children
dropped to just 42%,
and that had some very real consequences.
- Measles, once eradicated in the U.S.,
is now exploding in Minnesota's Somali community,
where many parents won't vaccinate.
- The virus is so contagious that if you're exposed to it
and you don't have the vaccine,
there's a 90% chance you'll contract it.
- They can have permanent brain damage.
They can have blindness or deafness.
And so we wouldn't vaccinate if this was just a rashy illness.
This is a very serious disease.
- Exactly, and this is how bad it is.
In that community, the number of measles cases
so far this year has already outpaced
the total number in all the U.S. last year.
And that is terrible, because the only thing
Minnesota should have more of than any other state
is Garrisons Keillor
and people disappointed by the Mall of America.
"Oh, so it's just a bigger mall,
"and it has two Build-a-Bear Workshops?
"That's amazing.
"This memory will last me a lifetime.
"As will these two bears
from two different Build-a-Bear Workshops."
So--so tonight, we are going to look at why these fears persist
and what the consequences of succumbing to them can be.
And before we start,
I kind of get why vaccines can creep people out.
Vaccination can mean getting injected
by a needle filled with science juice.
Although, pretty much every medical practice
sounds terrifying when you break it down like that.
An appendectomy means removing
one of your organs through stabbery.
Antibiotics are poisons used to murder things living in you.
And even exercise means
forcefully burning up your insides.
My point is, the human body is a true carnival of horrors,
and frankly I'm embarrassed to have one.
And much--much of the fear surrounding vaccines stems
from their supposed link to autism.
Now, that is a theory that gained traction
in the late '90s, thanks to a study
published in the medical journal "The Lancet,"
suggesting a link between autism
and the MMR vaccine.
The study was of just 12 children,
and it was by this guy, Andrew Wakefield.
And if you're wondering why I didn't say
"Dr. Andrew Wakefield," this is why.
- Follow-up studies of hundreds
of thousands of children could not find any evidence
that the MMR vaccine causes autism.
And investigations into Wakefield's original paper
revealed he distorted the data and acted unethically.
- He's lost his medical license.
"The Lancet" paper has been retracted.
- It's true, Wakefield made a big splash before having
his legacy tarnished and his title revoked.
He's basically the Lance Armstrong of doctors.
But--but even though Wakefield's conclusions
have been debunked many times, he not only denies wrongdoing,
he actually still gives talks
about the supposed dangers of the MMR vaccine.
In fact, this is him in 2011 talking to the Somali community
that we saw earlier in Minnesota
and presumably ending his speech with,
"Trust me. I'm a used-to-be-a-doctor."
And to be fair, Wakefield is not the only voice
raising alarms about vaccines.
He has company from across the political spectrum
from Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. on the left,
to Alex Jones wherever the fuck he fits in,
to even this guy.
- You can't make, um--you can't make people do procedures
that they don't want.
The parents have to be the ones who make the decisions
for what's best for my-- for our kids.
It can't be the government saying that.
It's against the Nuremberg Laws.
- Yes, that is Rob Schneider,
performing an impromptu rendition
of his famous character
"the Annoying Guy Who is Wrong."
Because--because despite his misunderstanding of,
among other things, what the Nuremberg Laws are
and what constitutes acceptable headwear for a grown man,
Schneider has spoken out against
mandatory vaccines for years, even once calling
this California state assemblywoman
to debate the issue,
prompting her to post on Facebook,
"Let's be honest.
"That is 20 minutes of my life I'll never get back
"arguing that vaccines don't cause autism
with Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo."
Yeah, sure, sure, it's funny. It's funny.
But, you know, hold on, lady.
Let's not sully the good name of Deuce Bigalow
just because of something that his portrayer,
Rob Schneider, said.
That's like implying William Wallace doesn't trust Jews
or Officer Nordberg is a murderer.
So, you know, try and separate the two.
Now--now, the good news is, these days,
very few people will say they are completely anti-vaccine.
Instead, like the president, they'll say,
"I'm not anti-vaccine, but..."
And it's what comes after that "but"
that we need to look at tonight.
'Cause one example is,
"Hey, I'm not anti-vaccine, but I am pro-safe vaccine."
And that can often refer to concern
over scary-sounding ingredients,
like thimerosal, a mercury-based preservative.
For years now, RFK Jr. has led a crusade against it.
In fact, just this year, he gave a speech where he said this.
- For 33 years, I've been working to get mercury
out of fish.
Nobody has ever called me anti-fish.
And because I want mercury out of vaccines,
I should not be called anti-vaccine.
- Okay, well, for a start, why would anyone be ashamed
to be called anti-fish?
Fish are stupid. And how do I know that?
Look at them! Just look at this idiot!
And it's not just him.
Check this moron out as well.
And while you're at it, what about this dimwit?
Here's another bonehead for ya.
I'm Pretty sure this dunce didn't make it
past the third grade.
And I think we can all agree that this doofus
isn't exactly curing cancer.
Oh, that's right.
Come at me, fish.
Oh, I'm sorry, you can't, can you?
'Cause--because-- and that's because
after 500 million years,
you still haven't figured out how to breathe air.
Fuck you, fish. It's easy.
[panting]
I'm doing it now.
Easy!
You don't know me, fish. Get outta here.
But, you know, more importantly--
in fact, much more importantly, it is worth knowing
that the mercury that has been used in vaccines
is not the same kind that is harmful in fish,
on top of which, as with the MMR vaccine,
there have been multiple large studies finding no link
between thimerosal and autism.
And perhaps most importantly of all, since the early 2000s,
as a precautionary measure, it has been removed
as a preservative from all vaccines
recommended for infants except for the flu vaccines.
And even there, thimerosal-free versions are available.
So we essentially spent time and energy solving a problem
that never existed.
It's like spending years fighting to get marshmallows
out of Lucky Charms because a few people
think Minions can choke to death on them.
For a start, marshmallows dissolve,
and Minions don't exist,
and if they did, I would want them to choke to death,
'cause those little fuckers will murder us.
Open your eyes.
And look, if you're thinking, "Well, hold on, hold on.
If it wasn't harmful, why was it taken out?"
Well, there was intense public concern
that was amplified by people
like then-Congressman Dan Burton,
making arguments like this.
- I have yet to find any scientist who will say
that there is no doubt, no doubt,
that the mercury in vaccines does not contribute to autism.
Now, they'll say there's no scientific evidence.
There's no studies or anything that proves that yet.
But turn that around.
There are no studies that disprove it either.
- All right. All right, okay--
but here's the thing, proving a negative
is an impossible standard.
And that is also a slippery slope.
Because it means that I can say to you,
"You, Dan Burton, are a donkey fucker.
"You dress up donkeys in cheerleader outfits
"and you fuck them.
It's what you're into, and you do it all the time."
And you will say to me,
"Well, wait, there is absolutely no evidence of me doing that."
But I would say, turn that around.
There's no evidence of you not doing that either.
See, Dan?
This is not a road that you want to go down.
And the thing is--
the thing is, that donkey-fucker's remarks
actually get at why scientists
can be at a real disadvantage in this debate.
Because they, by their nature,
are careful in how they present their conclusions.
- Science and English are not really the same language.
And so when a scientist says,
"We have no evidence that there's a link
between vaccines and autism,"
what they're really saying is,
"You know, we are as positive as someone
can humanly be that there's no link."
And one thing that I sometimes do
when I'm talking to parents is say,
"I'm as confident that there's no link
between vaccines and autism as I am
that if I was going to walk off this building
that I would not be able to fly."
- Right, and that is about as clear as you can be.
And for the record, if your doctor
does believe they can fly, run.
Because they are either crazy, or they are R. Kelly.
And if your--if your pediatrician is R. Kelly,
vaccines are actually the least of your problems then.
And I know-- I know that some will say
that the real problem is that scientists
are being paid by pharma companies
to hide the problems with vaccines.
You can find countless memes online
about how the whole system is corrupt,
some of which feature a very smart-looking cat.
And I'm not saying
that there are not problems with big pharma.
There absolutely are.
We have discussed them before on this show.
But on the rare occasions when there have been issues
with vaccines, they have been pulled and fast.
And I know that that explanation
will still not satisfy some.
There are going to be some truly toxic comments
below this video,
alongside the usual ones about how I look like an owl
who can't get a date for prom
or that I probably live alone
surrounded by jars I'm too weak to open by myself.
And--and the thing-- and the thing--
You're laughing too hard at that.
And those comments will link to "the hidden truths"
about vaccines, and demand to know
why I didn't look into them, and you know what?
We did look into a lot of them, and the problem is,
I could go point by point by point
and be talking for hours tonight,
and this will still never end.
It's like Whac-A-Mole.
As one theory goes down, another pops up.
And I kind of get the insistence that there must be a link.
The age children are supposed to get the MMR vaccine
happens to be the same age that diagnosable signs of autism
can begin to appear,
but correlation is not causation.
That is what scientific studies are for.
And remember, they are really clear.
That link is not there.
And the problem with spending more and more time and money
trying to prove that link is that it takes resources away
from studying actual causes and treatments.
Just listen to the mother of one child with autism
who started a foundation precisely because she wanted
to find out the causes.
- We have dozens of studies.
I think we were right to look at whether vaccines
might be a cause of autism,
but there comes a point where there is so much evidence,
none of which shows any link between vaccines and autism,
that you have to say, "Enough."
- Yeah, that's right.
It's like that Einstein quote
you sometimes see on the Internet.
"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing
over and over again and expecting different results."
Except Einstein didn't say that,
because, and it seems I cannot stress this enough,
memes aren't facts.
And if you won't take that from me,
take it from this very smart-looking cat.
But again, that hum of doubt is hard to shake off.
And some parents agree with the president,
and they favor hedging their bets
and skipping or spacing vaccines out just in case.
93% of pediatricians say
they've been asked by parents to do just that.
And one of the places that that idea may be coming from
is a pediatrician named Dr. Sears.
Not Bill Sears, the famous doctor and author.
But his son, Bob Sears.
Dr. Bob has made a name for himself
with what can seem like a sensible-sounding approach
to address worried parents' concerns.
- What I've put together is what I call
my alternative vaccine schedule.
It's a way to get a baby fully vaccinated
but in a manner that spreads the shots out a little bit.
- And that sounds like a decent compromise,
because it's the middle ground position, right?
The problem is, it's the middle ground
between sense and nonsense.
It's like saying, "It would be crazy to eat
"that entire bar of soap,
so I'll just eat half of it."
Now, the enthusiasm for spacing vaccines out
stems from some parents' belief
that children these days get too many shots too soon,
perhaps best summed up by this meme of a doll
full of needles.
And I will say, if that's how they were given,
I would oppose that.
But--but let's break that fear down,
because while it is true that children do receive
more shots than they used to,
the number of antigens in those shots,
or the substances that induced the immune response,
has greatly decreased.
And it's a drop in the ocean
compared to the thousands of foreign antigens
a child usually encounters every day.
Just watch a child for five minutes,
and see if they don't eat their friend's boogers,
put their entire mouth over the water fountain,
or try and kiss a raccoon they just found
in a dumpster while playing hide and seek.
My point is, children are fucking disgusting.
And even Sears himself has admitted that his approach
is not based on scientific research.
- So, where is the-- where is the published,
peer-reviewed evidence to support the notion
of a, quote, "overload"
if you follow the CDC-recommended schedule?
Where does that exist?
- Chris, I don't think there is any such research,
and I actually never claimed there was.
I certainly have put out there very clearly
in my writings that my precautions
on spreading out vaccines are theoretical.
It's a theoretical benefit to kids,
and it's a choice that I think
a lot of parents feel more comfortable about
and might actually bring more parents
to vaccinate if they can spread the shots out more
than the regular schedule.
- Right.
Except your job is to make sure children
don't get deadly diseases,
not to make parents comfortable.
Because you're a pediatrician,
not a flask of whiskey tucked into a Babybjorn.
And... [laughter and cheering]
And Dr. Bob sometimes seems
to be trying to have it both ways.
Because while he says he is pro-vaccine and that he doesn't
explicitly tell parents to skip or delay important shots,
his book just happens to include
an "Alternative Vaccine Schedule"
and a "Selective Vaccine Schedule."
And on that one, you can get vaccinated
for measles as late as ten years old.
And on top of that, every once in a while,
he'll drop a line like this.
- You know, my statement I like to make on vaccines and autism
is that vaccines don't cause autism, except when they do.
- And--and I know that sounds like equivocating bullshit,
but don't worry.
Opportunistic quacks writing books
that fan the flames of people's unfounded fears
don't cause a legitimate public health hazard,
except when they do.
And--and while the benefits of Dr. Sears's plan are,
as he says, "theoretical,"
the dangers of spacing vaccines out are very real.
The CDC says spreading shots out puts children at risk
of developing diseases during the time that shots are delayed.
And some of those diseases are dangerous.
Measles alone was responsible
for over 130,000 deaths worldwide in 2015,
partly because it is ridiculously infectious.
I'm talking "Happy" by Pharell infectious.
I just said that, and it's already stuck in your head now.
♪ 'Cause I'm happy ♪ There you go.
That's how infectious measles is.
And one way we can keep measles at bay is through
something called "herd immunity."
That is the concept whereby
the more people who are vaccinated,
the harder it is for a disease to spread.
But the margin for safety there
is a lot smaller than you may think.
Most experts say that the herd immunity threshold
for measles is around 95%.
But when, in France, that dropped to 89% a few years back,
this is what happened.
- In 2007, there were around 40 cases
of measles across France.
Then, in 2008, a ten-year-old girl returned
from holiday in Austria.
She went back to school and played with some friends.
- ♪ Frere Jacques ♪
- Several days later, the girls became ill.
The measles infection spread from district to district,
infecting the susceptible population.
In 2011, there were almost 15,000 cases.
At least six people died.
- Okay, so that clip proves two things to us.
One, a decrease in herd immunity
can have devastating consequences,
and two, anything is terrifying
if you play children singing "Frere Jacques" underneath it.
I guarantee you that's true.
Just look at what happens when you add that music underneath
this stock footage that we found.
- ♪ Frere Jacques ♪
♪ Frere Jacques ♪
♪ Dormez vous ♪
- There is no way that those kids are not about
to be decapitated by a stop sign.
No way.
And--and if you're thinking,
"Well, you know, that is a chance
"that I'm willing to take,
and I'm just making this choice for my child,"
the thing is, you're not.
You're putting at risk kids like Rhett Krawitt.
He was diagnosed with leukemia at age two,
and his immune system was weakened so much
he couldn't be vaccinated,
meaning if he picked up a serious disease,
it could be fatal.
And I'll let his mom take it from here.
- When he was first diagnosed
he was pretty much pulled out of society.
We avoided highly concentrated groups of people.
When we went out, we wore a mask.
I mean, we really did limit his exposure.
And we just were so excited for the day
when he could start kindergarten
so he could have that sense of socialization
and community and learning.
- A year into remission and back in school,
Rhett will soon be healthy enough to be fully vaccinated.
But until then, his life depends
on herd immunity.
- Exactly.
So by getting vaccinated,
you're helping and protecting those
who are most vulnerable, like sick people,
and newborns too young to be vaccinated.
And why would you choose not to do that?
I believe Jesus Christ himself put it best when he said,
"Do you seriously need some sort of wise quote
"to convince you on this one?
Just, like, don't be a dick."
And--and look, I know--
I honestly know, like, for some people this is still hard.
But what can help is to try and anchor yourself
to what we know to be true about the risks of vaccines.
And when it comes to autism, again, there is no link.
And even when it comes to other serious side effects,
like a severe allergic reaction,
it is literally, according to the CDC,
close to one in a million.
And I know that, in a way, that's not actually helpful,
because every parent thinks their child
is one in a million, but if it makes you feel better,
your child's odds of being convicted of murder
and eventually executed by the state
are only 1 in 119,012.
Yeah, and if that makes you feel even worse, just cheer up.
Maybe your child will be one of those murderers
that never gets caught. Maybe.
They're very smart. Maybe.
And you know, maybe one of the biggest problems here
is that when people hear about vaccines,
so much of the emphasis is on non-existent
or wildly unlikely harms, and we tend not to talk
about the very tangible good that they do.
After all, nobody is going on Facebook to post,
"Didn't get polio again today!
So lit!"
And maybe we kind of should, because it is easy to forget
the benefits of vaccines are enormous.
- What we have seen in the industrialized world
is, essentially, all of the major epidemics,
they've vanished.
Moms today have every expectation
that their beautiful little baby will live
and not be polished off by diphtheria,
by tetanus, even occasionally by measles.
Now that is the transformation in young lives
that vaccines have wrought.
- And that is a really good point,
only slightly undercut by him using the phrase "polished off."
'Cause you're talking about babies, not a rack of ribs.
But here's the thing, it really comes down to this.
It is likely that at some point,
you may hear scary vaccine stories
from other parents or on the Internet,
and it is hard not to be terrified when you encounter it.
And that is partly because parenthood, in general,
is fucking terrifying.
Believe me, I'm someone who is scared of literally everything.
The dark, the light, heights, depths, confined spaces,
wide-open spaces, strangers, intimacy, spiders,
and a sudden and mysterious lack of spiders.
But all of that--
but for what it's worth, and if this helps at all,
I have a son.
He is 19 months old.
He was born prematurely,
following a very difficult pregnancy,
and I've worried about his health,
and I still worry about his health a lot.
But we are vaccinating him fully on schedule.
And if I can overcome the temptation
to listen to the irrational shouting
of my terrified lizard brain,
then I believe that everyone can.
And now this.
- Our backyard train continues to be
a highly debated topic in Talkback 16.
- I see Kurt in the backyard,
and the train is down to just the locomotive.
What happened to the passenger cars?
So much for buying a new train
that was supposed to be indoor-outdoor,
weatherproof with sound and smoke.
- You guys are all talking
about the snowstorm in the backyard,
and all I can see is that poor train engine,
the poor little thing spazzing out,
too worried about his tracks
getting all covered up.
Can you give him a little home or something?
- I'd like to see that train running in the backyard,
even with the snow.
You get the weatherman out there
to clean that track off,
like we used to do in the railroad.
- Hi, I just turned the news on,
and I saw the train running.
I am so, so happy.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I could come through the phone and give you all a big hug,
responsible for that train being fixed.
- I just want to say that I've been enjoying
the Talkback 16 segments.
I'd also like to add a theory that I think Jon Meyer
is the one who is shutting down the train
in the background on occasion to distract
from the terrible reviews he is getting on Talkback 16.
It's just another example of fake news.
- That's our show. Thanks so much for watching.
We'll see you next week. Good night!
[cheers and applause]
Yeah, yeah.
[cheers and applause]
[upbeat rock music]
♪ ♪
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